Companion grave markers: plan now for the second date

A companion grave marker carries two names. When it's ordered after the first death, only one of them has a final date. The other date gets added later, sometimes many years later, by whoever is running the monument shop then. A few choices made now decide whether that second date goes on cleanly or turns into a problem.

This guide is for families ordering a companion marker for a husband, wife or partner, often while planning their own place beside them. It covers what to check with the cemetery, how to leave room for the second date on granite and bronze, and what changes if one of you is a Veteran.

What a companion grave marker is

A companion marker is one memorial for two people, usually set across two side-by-side graves. It can be an upright headstone or a flat marker set level with the grass, in granite or in bronze. You'll also see them sold as double headstones or companion memorials.

When one is set for a single burial, one side can be complete while the other has a name and birth date and an open space where the final date will go. Everything below is about that open space.

Check the cemetery's rules before you pick a design

Cemeteries set their own rules for companion markers, and they differ. Three city cemeteries show the range:

• Arlington, Washington allows a flat companion marker up to 60 inches wide on two adjoining lots, compared with 48 inches for a single marker in the same sections (rules).
• Price, Utah allows one companion or double headstone on two side-by-side spaces in common ownership. A double flat marker can be up to 96 by 24 inches (city code).
• Paducah, Kentucky (Oak Grove Cemetery) allows one companion marker for two adjoining lots owned by the same owner, with a foundation no wider than the two lots (guidelines).

In all three, the two graves have to be next to each other, and in Price and Paducah they also have to be owned by the same person. If the plots were bought separately or are in two names, sort that out with the cemetery office first.

Ask the office for its current rules in writing, and ask one more question while you're there: how does adding a date to an installed marker work? Arlington, for example, requires on-site engraving to be scheduled with the cemetery coordinator at least one working day ahead. Our guide to cemetery rules for inscriptions lists other things worth asking.

Leave room for the second date, on purpose

The open space is easy to get wrong because nobody is looking at it. Whatever the material, ask the designer to treat the future date as part of the layout from day one.

On a granite marker

Ask for the second person's full line to be laid out in the proof, with the future date shown in the same lettering as the first. Then check:

• The space is big enough for the longest date format you might use, not just a year.
• The future date lines up with the first person's date on the other side.
• The open area is on the polished face where the first date was cut, so it can be cut the same way.

Ask the shop to keep the original layout file and font names with your order, and keep a copy yourself. It's one of the most useful things the next shop can have. If that file is lost, the next date has to be matched to the stone by eye or from a photo, which is exactly the job our guide to adding a second date walks through.

On a bronze marker

Bronze works differently. Bronze companion plaques often have a blank space where a small cast plate, called a date plate or scroll plate, gets screwed on later. Noble Bronze, which makes these plates, explains that the blank area may already have screw holes drilled, sometimes with screws left in to keep dirt out (source).

When ordering, ask whether the blank area will be pre-drilled and write down the plate size it expects. When the time comes, the plate maker will want the distance between the screw holes, center to center, and the height of the tallest letter on the existing scroll.

Expect to pay for the second date later

The cost of adding the final date may be separate from the marker. Love Markers, one marker seller, says plainly that future dates, sandblasted inscriptions on granite and bronze scrolls are not included in the price of the marker (FAQ). Ask your seller the same question and get the answer on the order form. For a sense of what adding a date costs, see the cost of adding an inscription.

If one of you is a Veteran

VA rules change the plan, so check them before ordering anything private.

In a national cemetery. The VA says that for a spouse buried in a national cemetery, their name and dates of birth and death will be inscribed on the Veteran's headstone at no cost to the family (VA). For Veterans who died on or after October 1, 2019, that goes on the back of an upright headstone (VA Directive 3350). So the spouse's details go on the Veteran's own headstone rather than a separate companion marker.

In a private cemetery with a VA headstone. The VA claim form lets you reserve space for a future spouse inscription, at private expense, if you ask for it on the form and space allows. Only two lines can be reserved on a flat marker. On an upright marble or granite headstone the form says reserved space isn't needed, because the back is available (VA Form 40-1330 instructions).

So if a Veteran's flat marker will also carry a spouse later, ask for the reserved lines when you file rather than counting on finding room later.

A checklist before you sign the order

• The cemetery allows a companion marker on these two graves, in writing.
• Both plots are side by side and in the same owner's name.
• The proof shows the second person's future date, in the same lettering as the first.
• For bronze: whether the blank area is pre-drilled, and the plate size it expects.
• Whether adding the final date later is included in the price.
• The shop's layout file and font names, saved with your paperwork.
• If a Veteran is involved: national cemetery inscription, or reserved space on the VA form.

You can draft both names and dates now with our free inscription text builder and take the result to your monument shop.

When the day comes

The second date is added by a monument shop, sometimes on site, and the hard part is matching what's already cut. That's the job Monumize was built for: the shop photographs the stone with a phone, and Monumize measures the existing lettering and produces a to-scale cut file for the new date. If you're at that stage, our guides on how long a second date takes and matching the original lettering explain what to expect.

Sources

• VA Form 40-1330, Claim for Standard Government Headstone or Marker, instructions (via reginfo.gov): reserved space for future inscriptions, two-line limit on flat markers, reverse side on uprights.
• National Cemetery Administration, Burial and Memorial Benefits: spouse inscription on the Veteran's headstone at no cost.
• National Cemetery Administration, Directive 3350: spouse information on the back of upright headstones for deaths on or after October 1, 2019.
• City of Arlington, Washington, Cemetery Rules and Regulations: flat marker widths, on-site engraving scheduling.
• Price City, Utah, Code 2.48.180: companion headstones and double marker sizes.
• City of Paducah, Kentucky, Oak Grove Cemetery Guidelines: companion markers on adjoining lots.
• Noble Bronze, Name and Date Plates for Bronze Markers: blank areas, screw holes and measurements.
• Love Markers, FAQ: future dates not included in marker cost.